Will You Stay?
by A Leaf in the Wind
Summary: A cat leaves his Clan, despite the begging of his Clanmates. Contest entry for LightClan. One-shot.


"Will you stay?"

Those were the last words I heard from her. And then I, the selfish Pineshadow, left the Clan.

I must have broken her heart, and back then, I didn't care. I was a young cat with a bad personality… and she loved me anyway.

But she has moved on. I found out just a few moons ago that she now has a mate and kits.

But enough of that, you want to be told the whole story.

We were just kits when we met, hunger that leaf-bare meant nothing more than our not having food. For the warriors, it meant hunger for the entire Clan.

I was innocent then... not the angry cat I became halfway through my apprenticeship. More about that later.

We were the only kits in camp, and would huddle together in the nursery when our mothers, Willowleaf and Nightfoot, were not around to keep us warm.

I remember one day when our mothers had both gone hunting. It was a particularly hard winter, and every able cat was out catching prey at some point during the day- and that included the queens.

One of the apprentices was going in and out of the different dens, changing the bedding in all the dens and taking care of the elder's ticks.

No one was afraid of attack, all of the Clans were busy taking care of their own, and the nursery was fairly warm compared to outside, so no one felt the kits would freeze, either.

This was in the middle of leaf-bare, and a moon later the prey started coming back.

I remember a quarter moon after the prey returned in full, and Leopardkit ate too much. I was horrified when it happened, but looking back on it, the event was rather amusing.

We were not used to complete pieces of prey. One of the queens brought us each a mouse. I ate mine slowly, savoring the flavor.

Leopardkit, however, did the opposite. She wolfed it down in a few bites, and a few minutes later, she started groaning.

I had started backing away as she started retching, and then ran to the medicine cat den.

The situation had been dealt with.

Soon after, we had been made apprentices, leaving no kits in the nursery, though there was a pregnant queen.

I enjoyed fighting the most, and Leopardpaw liked hunting. We spent most of our time training, the rest of the time talking, attending ceremonies, sleeping, and sharing tongues.

We excelled in our training, becoming the better of the four apprentices- but just over halfway through our apprenticeship, disaster struck.

A fox attacked a hunting patrol, wanting the prey that they had caught. An apprentice was sent to camp, and a patrol was organized as fast as the deputy could choose cats.

In the fight between the opponent and the gathered patrol, my mother- Nightfoot - was badly injured. She died a few sunrises later, her deep wounds having been infected. That infection had quickly spread through her body, leaving her wheezing… and then came her slow death. I will not go into that, I found it too horrible.

As is traditional, those of us who were close to her sat vigil for her throughout the night. I dozed off at about moon high, and woke near dawn. The elders took my mother's body away and buried her.

I was too stiff and filled with grief to move. I just stood there, staring at the place where my mother had been just a moment before. Finally the realization flowed into me, like water into a pool. She was gone. Nightfoot was gone, and I was never going to see her again. I didn't think once about the fact that she had gone to StarClan, where she was happier than she had ever been.

I was blinded to everything except my own sorrows, and nothing would change that.

This is when I became bitter.

Unable to see the emotions of other cats, I was waiting for the perfect time, the time when I could get revenge.

A couple moons later, I was made a warrior… along with Leopardsparks.

We sat vigil, as was normal for new warriors. I didn't move a muscle all night, I just stared at one spot.

I had spent that night thinking of how I could defeat a fox by myself, without help. And I was remembering the exact scent of the fox who killed my mother.

It somehow seemed different from others… then again, maybe it just seemed that way to me. But the fox smelled of death. As if it had killed so many cats that the smell clung to it's fur like a tick to an elder's flesh.

I wouldn't be surprised if the only way to get rid of the smell were mouse bile.

I was a loyal warriors, trying to work my way up to the position of leader without killing any cats. Being a leader was perfect for what I had in mind- if I became leader, I would have the authority to send out patrols in search of that evil fox. But I was unsuccessful. Moons went by, but the deputy didn't die in any way, and the current leader had far too many lives.

And that is when I decided to leave.

Leopardsparks protested, she begged me not to go. She truly cared for me, but I was too blind to see it, to sense it.

I left.

"Will you stay?"

The last words I heard escape from her mouth. The last words she spoke to me.

I traveled to the nearest twoleg place. I searched, asked around, but no one had seen that fox, and neither had they smelt it.

So I traveled to the next twoleg place, and that is where I found success.

According every cat I questioned, the town was haunted by this vicious beast. Every night at least two cats were killed. Sometimes they were eaten.

After many more questions, I discovered the place where the monster lived.

It was littered with the bones of cats, rodents, and dogs alike. I stalked in silently in the middle of the night, killing the fox within moments. It was a feeling of relief that washed over me when I realized that my technique had worked, but a quarter moon later, my thirst for revenge had not been satisfied. My grief remained. I was showered endless with thanks and praise from the cats of that twoleg place, but I left in the middle of the night. I needed some peace, away from the disgusting air.

I spent my time in a newer forest, brooding over my recent actions for seasons. And I discovered my deep regret. I realized what I hadn't before, Leopardsparks' affection for me, what a mistake it was to leave my Clan. But there is no way of going back. It is impossible. And now, we have come to the present time, and my head is mixed with these many thoughts. There is no way of going back to ThunderClan. No way of going back and being forgiven.

But now I'm going back. Back to my Clan, back to Leopardsparks. Even if she does have a mate, an amount of affection for me most likely remains.

I'm returning to my Clan.

* * *

><p><strong>This is my January 2015 contest entry for LightClan. It's more of a long summary of a cats' life, isn't it? Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**-A Leaf in the Wind**


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